"The Talk" Part I

Sabrina is a film about a young woman who had a crush on a man named David for years and years and when she finally grew up, realized that she had outgrown that crush. There is a moment in the film when Sabrina comes back from Paris, no longer a skinny awkward little girl, but transformed into a stylish lady and her girlish crush does not even recognize her. Even though Scarlett is eight, every so often, the light catches her hair a certain way, or she laughs and tilts her head and I see the woman she is becoming. You moms of daughters know what I mean. I get a little verklempt and Protective Husband mumbles something about a shot gun.

Last week we had the talk with Scarlett. Ok, more accurately I had the talk with Scarlett. (But wise Husband gave a great follow-up converstation that I will share another day.) It wasn't difficult and I wasn't even dreading it the way some parents on movies or tv do. I suppose it's because we didn't build everything up to this one talk. We've had dozens of other talks to support this one.

I guess it all started with calling things by their right name. Both my parents worked in the medical field, so, to my brother and I they were simply body parts. It is no surprise that I taught Scarlett this as well. We also had to have a lesson in discussing body parts in public, but that MacDonald's Playland story is for another day... Anyway, calling things by their rightful name helped when we had the talk last week because there really weren't any giggles or squirms, about that part, at least.

Another helpful discussion was had when Scarlett was 4 and we learned about what parts on other people are called. This story deserves a re-enactment.

The following could be a dramatic re-enactment of a conversation that CLASSIC MAMA had with SCARLETT. Feel free to get a friend to re-enact it, or, if you don’t have a friend on-hand, Barbie dolls or Transformers will do. Our players are SCARLETT, who is five years old, CLASSIC MAMA and BRANDA (CLASSIC MAMA's dad who can sometimes forget to lock the door to the bathroom.)

Our scene begins as SCARLETT emerges from the bathroom to find CLASSIC MAMA sitting on the couch. SCARLETT’s crotch is recognizably damp and CLASSIC MAMA is noticeably confused.

SCARLETT: Mama, I'm wet.

CLASSIC MAMA: Scarlett, I can see that. Dear, what happened? You haven't had an accident in a very long time. Did you forget to take your pants off? (CLASSIC MAMA asked this because she remembers herself in an incident in grade school with a pair of forgettable tights and a very wet afternoon.)

SCARLETT: No I didn't forget. I tried to piddle like Barnda. Why can't I piddle like Branda?

CLASSIC MAMA: What? (She said, ignoring the wetness and the fact that SCARLETT tried to urinate standing up, CLASSIC MAMA wondered how her 4 year old knew how her grandfather "piddles.")How do you know how Branda piddles?

SCARLETT: I opened the door while he was piddling.

CLASSIC MAMA: Did he know that you saw him?

SCARLETT: No. He didn't hear.

CLASSIC MAMA: What did you see?

SCARLETT: The back of Branda's pants.

CLASSIC MAMA: Oh. (Relieved that this would not be a discussion later in therapy.)

SCARLETT: (Shaking her head imagining her grandfather a very talented man.) How can Branda do that?

CLASSIC MAMA: Well Scarlett, boys have different parts than girls...(She continued with the short conversation and Scarlett was satisfied for that day.)

This concludes our tale of SCARLETT’s actual conversation with the CLASSIC MAMA. Tune in next time when CLASSIC MAMA explains nuclear fission to Bubba.

Since then, we've had a myriad of conversations that made "the talk" so easy that the only question Scarlett had was "Isn't that uncomfortable?" So, in honor of this little "Mommy Milestone" I will include more heartfelt stories of Scarlett's road to knowledge this week.